This year has taken unexpected turns. Big turns, mind you, have all of a sudden cropped up in front of me and it has taken all I have to throw my body against the wheel and squeal along the grassy edges to avoid destruction. But, that being done, the road is looking a little straighter now, for a few miles anyway, and I'm left riding along with some interesting new decisions that have to be made if I'm ever going to find my way back to familiar territory.
I am now a divorced Christian woman. Public Christian opinion aside, I'm okay with the status. I know where my faith stands and the intricacies within my own situation but being divorced is different than being single in ways that anyone outside this particular experience can't fully understand. Because of the intimate union of marriage until you are no longer united, you don't realize how much of your own identity had been shared with your mate. My point of view was not from an individual, as I once thought, but was that of mutual beliefs and a connected understanding. I am now left to decide alone. My emotional state was cushioned by a companionship that comforted and calmed. I now have to get back to the practice of rationalizing my own moods and keeping my emotions under control by my own strength. My identity has changed, and quite unexpectedly I've found myself facing the question of "Who am I"?
The verse I have always held next to my life as a guide is Galatians 2:20;
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Call it my 'lifeverse' if you want. It reminds me of the greater power in which I have handed over my identity and it always brings me strength. I think, however, that I'm going to add another one to this new stage of my life as well.
1 John 2:27 "As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.
"Father, I seek your wisdom in not who I am, but in who You want me to be. Thank you for your presence, the Bible as my guide and the knowledge that I have a unique purpose assigned by You and am never left lost and alone." Amen